i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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