What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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