Midget sex pt 2 tonight
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
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