Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
