No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
did you just send me my own nude
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
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