$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
