Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
