Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(425): View more from Washington

Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.

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(585): View more from New York

its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck

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(970): View more from Colorado

I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking

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(602): View more from Arizona

I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight

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(614): View more from Ohio

Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday

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(859): View more from Kentucky

if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.

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(951): View more from California

I'm sorry I peed on your everything.

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(876): View more from Jamaica

dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody

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(303): View more from Colorado

How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????

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