I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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