I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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