Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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