I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
