So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
