I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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