you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Randomize