I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
