I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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