i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
