Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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