Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
