I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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