she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
