So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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