you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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