What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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