Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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