Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
