You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
