just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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