Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
