You really coming over, don't trick.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
