p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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