Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
