So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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