so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
i out mim tonsoeep
True college students do jello shots in the library
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