At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Randomize