How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
