My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
