a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
well most of my day revolves around power hour
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
