i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I need a burrito and a hug.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
