If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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