I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
