yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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