all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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