Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
