speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I think a kid would responsible me up
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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