Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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