Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
How external is "for external use only"?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
