I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Define "chronic" masturbator.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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