You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I accidentally burped into my bong.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
