you win again, gameday.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
