I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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