JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
