when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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