Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
