My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
i out mim tonsoeep
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