so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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