my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
