I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
