Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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