my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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