is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
