Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
