erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Randomize
