Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
