U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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