Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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