if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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