I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
