I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
