have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
