A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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