So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
