Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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