My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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